Vlog part 2

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2010, october, vlog, weekend

It’s con[tag]ious!

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2010, 4 things, october, tag

I read about this on ChristinaHeart’s blog - A girl & happenstance::A search for some semblance of normalcy.

4 things.. Try it you too!

4 things in my bag

• My sea bands - in case I get car sick.
• My wallet and calender (with all my “bonus cards” driving licence and my visa card)
• Alvedon – pain relievers
• A bottle of water (ok this is more than 4 things but I almost always have a fruit in my bag to..)

4 things on my desk

• Vanilla candles from IKEA.
• A lot of pens and pencils, in different colors.
• The note-tree I made some weeks ago.
• My make-up bag

4 things in my bedroom

• I only have one room. I live in my bedroom, so I have to say the bed. I think it’s too big.
• My white carpet that I really like.
• A lot of books, currently only the books I really like since the other books are in boxes at my mom and dad’s house.
• A lot of pillows! I love pillows!

4 Things I always have wanted to do (but haven’t done yet).

• Staying out the whole night and coming home at 5 in the morning.
• Found someone I like so much that I can’t breathe!
• Going to a ball, or huge dinner and wear a really nice dress, and look really good.
• Said to someone hoe much I really liked that person. I have a huge problem with this! I don’t think I have said to someone “I love you”. Only to our cat, but that doesn’t count!! at all!! haha!

4 things I enjoy very much at the moment

• Every moment alone, when it’s quiet. Where no one can hear what I’m thinking (haha! no dirty thoughts)
• Watching Bones season 2. I so love that tv-show/series.
• Eating things I have never eaten before. Eating out.
• Singing, I can’t sing because there is always someone next to me, and I hate to sing when someone can hear.

4 songs I can’t get out of my head 

• I have no songs in my head, but these are some songs that usually stay for a while in there. Hallelujah.
• If I aint got you – Alicia Keys
• That Lady Gaga song that goes lala baba mama.. that’s driving me crazy haha!
• Because of you – Kelly Clarkson. (not the best choices haha!)

4 things you don’t know about me

• Here comes the embarrassing part. At least for me! hahaha! I think you know this, but anyway.. I have never had a boyfriend. That is less good. haha!
• I can, I don’t know what you call it hahah!, wiggle? my ears.
• I know some books my mother read for me as a child by heart. Every word! But maybe because they are on rhyme and not longer than 30 pages.
• You know what.. I let you ask anything you want, and then I’ll give you an honest answer. Sometimes I read people’s blogs and I think. Oh I really want to know that.. but I never dare to ask.. if you have a question.. shoooot! lol!

Some pictures of me, my neighbors, and classmates.

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fika, october, pictures

Ok, here are some pictures from today. First this morning we had “fika” I took some more pictures, but they disappeared by some weird reason, why? I was sooo tired as you can see. Then there is another girl in my class in the same picture. Then it’s my neighbor and the girl who lived here before, and me.. We went to a pub instead, because there was so many people at the nation, but at 11 or something all the stupid, dirty guys show up so we went home. And now the clock is 00:30, and I really hope I can sleep this night.

An update

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decisions, october, school, thoughts, work

Nothing moves my sister!! I tried to get her to make some kind of funny face haha! not even my scary-I’m-freaking out face made a difference haha!

Ok, yesterday my sister and my mom came here to visit. It was the first time since I moved here in August. It takes a while to drive so they could only stay for 3 hours, but it was kind of fun. We went to a mall and I bought this dress, a pink shirt, and a black cardigan I love!

Tuesday I had a facial treatment. That was one of the best things I have ever done. Afterwards my face looked like hell, but now my skin is much smoother than before. I thought I had problems with pimples, but the girl there said it was something that my skin was dry, and some products makes the skin dry, and then blah blah blah.. so I bought a cleanser with some kind of AHA acid thing, and she said it would help and I really hope so. I can’t understand that I didn’t do this earlier.

I can’t stop thinking about one thing and that is what I “should” do. I mean I just go to school, I can’t feel a meaning with that. That makes me feel.. not very happy. As I have said before living where I live now, is no good for me. I have decided that I should go to the library every day and do school stuff there instead, because I can’t be in here. It’s driving me crazy!

A couple of months ago I felt really good, I don’t know if you remember that I had a goal that I had set. Anyway, now it feels like I’m back to my old habits and ways of thinking and I have to do something about that. My problem is that every time I do something it feels like I’m not worth it. I think: I have to take it easy this weekend. But then when I do I don’t like it because it feels like I should do something else instead. Today I felt like eating a muffin, but then I thought.. no I can’t. And then lost my appetite completely.

Now it feels like I have to do something, I can’t just sit here and wait for better times to come. Everything is so freaking ironic. My birthday is in like 3 weeks, but I can’t have a party because there it’s too small here. So I have told my mom that no one can come here. It might sound stupid, but it’s true. Now I thought that me and some others maybe could go and just have lunch or something. But I don’t know. I have a lot of cousins and aunts and other relatives, but I don’t know. I have told my mom and my sister that I want a DVD box, but we’ll se haha!

So now I’m thinking about what is the right thing to do. Maybe there are some alternatives. Haha! this is “self-coaching”.

• I have to move somewhere.
• I have decided that I should try to like every day and do the best out of everything, because otherwise nothing matters.
• I could find a job, and then I would have something to do after school, but I don’t want to work at an old people’s home or anything similar.
• I have to study full-time at the university this spring.
• I thought about taking that extra course too, but I’m still not sure.
• Gosh there are so many alternatives.

Anyway I have to do something, maybe planning my time, and structure things would be the first step. Sometimes it feels like I’m just talking. I talked to a girl in my class today and she said: I have a lot of friends and we talk a lot, but we just talk about the same things, over and over again. Like normal ordinary things, but we never get any further. Nothing happens, and I want things to happen, because I don’t like how it is. Then I started thinking, do we just listen to what people say, but nothing more. I don’t say that we have a responsibility. It’s hard to explain, but I guess that I agree with her to some extent. Sometimes you talk to people, but do they really listen. I don’t know if you understand what I mean, because it feels like I can’t explain it. But as I said, maybe I have to plan my time, so I’ll have like working days, but with school things instead. I know it doesn’t take long time for me to learn, and if I focus, I’ll have free-time in the afternoons/evening – depending on our schedule. I think that would be good.

Fall is here..

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fall, october, pictures, tree

Fall is here, I went to park not far from here and took some pictures.

Video blog, or something..

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2010, october, video blog

I just made a video because I had nothing to do… ha ha! excuse me if you can’t understand what I’m saying, because sometimes I think too much while I’m talking. Don’t listen if you don’t have time because I’m just talking and talking ha ha ha!

What I have learned today: some everyday psychology

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2010, boyfriend, brain, life, love, october, psychology, school, wise

In school we have to read a huge 1400 pages book about psychology. I’m writing something here because I have to learn, hopefully something can be interesting for you to read. People are just strange, not strange, but we have our ways, I can tell you I have learned that by now ;)

• Wise or not? We often say old and wise, but that doesn’t have to be true. Between the age of 13 and 25 wisdom rises and then stays stable until the age of ~75. Wisdom is the knowledge we have about life, relationships, the strategies we use for making decisions, and how good we are at handling uncertainties. This proves that you can be young and wise! Good for everyone under 75!
• The danger of the self-fulfilling prophecy. The way you act towards others makes them behave in the way you expected them to, . For example if you think someone is angry with you, it’s easy for you to behave in a way that makes the other person act as if he/she really was angry ie. not talking to you etc.  That is scary.
• We tend to interact with people who are physically closer, if you sit in a bar you talk more to the people next to you. In a class room you tend to become friends with the people who sit next to you. The more we are exposed to something the more we like it – it doesn’t matter if it’s a class mate or photograph (but you have to like the things/people in some way from the beginning).
• Birds of a feather flock together. We tend to like people who look/are like ourselves – appearance, values, attitudes etc.
• Opposites do not attract they repel, at least when it comes to people. When people who are dissimilar become a couple their relationship usually don’t last long – we starts to dislike the dissimilarities over time. This is scary, but in some way I can understand that it’s true to some extent. Some people we meet become out best friends, some don’t. We have more in common with best friends than with other people, sometimes you almost know what the other person is thinking – probably because you are so alike that you can predict what you would have done in the same situation.
• A basic factor that influences a relationship is how a couple deals with anger. If you can deal with anger in a good way, your relationship will (according to theories) last longer. I think this is true to some extent too. It’s just sad with couples where one person have to stay quiet and the other one don’t listen to him/her, and then let that be a way of solving a discussion etc.
• We are attracted to people with symmetric faces (how do you know if you have a symmetric face? take a picture of you, taken “from the front”, cut it in 2 and make a copy of one of the sides, reverse it and “glue” it together.. then you can see). This is just a weird idea, I didn’t know about this. I don’t dare to do this either! For commercials they sometimes take many faces and make one face of it, like layers in Photoshop  to get the perfect face that we’ll like and that’ll make us buy make-up or whatever it’s about.
• Guys care about appearance when it comes to chosing a girlfriend, even though it sounds harsh, researches say it’s true. But what someone thinks is good-looking or not is another question. On the other hand, people who care much about their appearance tend to find friends/bf/gf who care as much as they do. For example a person who don’t care at all, usually have a bf/gf who doesn’t care either. Usually! I don’t say that it’s true.
• If you want a boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s not good to play “the game” and try to play hard to get. It doesn’t work. Ok, why do I always do this? I think a man did this research.
• If you are angry it’s not good to “vent” the anger through activities that involves even more anger, because it’ll only get worse. But this is just if you don’t have some kind of over controlled anger = never show anger. Then it can be good to do some sport or in some other way get rid of the anger.
• And to end this, if you are going to perform in the near future this might be interesting to know, or terrifying ;) . If you are very good at what you are doing and you have practiced a lot so the skill is “automatic” you are going to perform better. If you haven’t practiced that much, the chance is bigger that you are going to perform worse than when you rehearsed. This thing is caused by the arousal we feel in these kinds of situations and how the brain handles information.

And did you know that there is something called cognitive dissonance. When we do something or read something that don’t fit to our value norms – what we like or think is good/bad, we can either change our minds, OR try to find external justifications, or find excuses that we are right. Things that contradict creates dissonance and we strive to reduce it. Ie. someone tells you to lie (this is against your values) afterwards you feel bad, but then (automatically) think, oh, someone told me to and then I did something good because I did what someone asked me to do, or you might think: but it was fun, so everything is fine - even though you didn’t think so at all. We change our thought patterns to reduce the dissonance, and that is just how the brain and the thoughts work. It can also be explained like: that you see yourself doing something and then interpret the situation afterwards. I did this – then I must have felt this or that way, and that is why I did it – even though it wasn’t like that at all. Our brain can certainly play a joke on us. We are influenced by people around us, our thoughts about others and even ourselves all the time, and this makes us behave in certain ways.

Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.

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2, 2010, 30 days of blogging, knäckebröd, october, yogurt

I forgot to take a picture of what I ate today, but I took a couple of pictures yesterday so they’ll do. My favorite snack, that you can buy in a grocery store – drinking yogurt and “knäckebröd” with cream cheese filling.

Ok, just because of this 30 days of blogging thing I’ll tell you what I ate today. For breakfast 2 toasted slices of bread + yogurt and some blue berries and raspberries (I eat a little of everything, otherwise I think it’s boring to eat). Then I had an apple around 11:00. For lunch I had rice, fish fingers and salad. Then I ate yogurt again before I went out running like 5 km or something. For dinner I had omelette with rice, tomatoes, basil and parsley, and ketchup. Then I went to Hemköp because my neighbor is sick so I bought some stuff for her there, and then I bought candy(not good) which I ate while I was reading a book for school, and then I had a cup of coffee so now I’m hyper active, the clock is 21:31. Then I think I ate like 5 digestive crackers, biscuits whatever you call it.. Tomorrow will be a healthier day ha ha!

This is why I think it’s scary..

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2010, future, october, tarot cards

A couple of years ago I got a pack of tarot cards, and a book. I had a friend who thought it was fun with tarot cards. She just showed me how to do it, and as I have learned - you can’t predict the future, but see what will happen in the future if you do what the cards suggest, or what is going to happen if you don’t stop wat you’re doing etc. = it’s not just destiny, you can shape your future. Anyway, I read a post about tarot cards, and remembered I had mine somewhere, and this is why I think it’s so scary. Ok, it could be a coincidence. I just took the cards and laid them on the floor, according to a spread, read in the book what the cards mean, and this is what the freaking cards say (the book is written in English, and I just made some notes while I was reading):  

Ok, most of this is just oh it’s going to be so good in the future, but gosh! I had a look on the other pages, and nowhere did it say anything about family demands.. hmm.. sometimes it’s hard to know what to believe. Anyway I still think it’s fun ha ha! It’s crazy, if any of you have read my blog during the last weeks, I think you can see some things I have written about in this?

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

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2010, 30 days, blogging, october

This is me today, I just took a picture and I think I didn’t think much because the expression on my face looks pretty honest to what I feel right now. It’s like I’m not wearing my contacts/glasses Ha ha! Anyway, my day to day wasnt the best, because it’s raining, and it feels like the people here are angry at me because of some reason I don’t know. But I have decided to make some kind of plan, and as Jenny (the blogging Jenny ;) )  has taught me – some things are just mean to be, and I just think I have realized what is good with that I can’t take the course that I wanted to take.. I have found 2 apartments and I e-mailed the people and now I’m just waiting for them to reply. It’s freezing cold in here, so I’m kind of wearing a lot of clothes, ha ha!

Read my new blog..

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an apple a day, blog, october

I just added another blog http://bloganappleaday.wordpress.com/ .  On this blog I’ll write about personal developement, and things that has to do with well-being etc. check it out if you want to. The first post is about happiness, then I’ll do follow ups with additional information, and of course more stuff.

I started a new blog because I wanted it to be open for everyone. I think I write because I think it’s fun, and in the blog world no one will kill me if I’m not 100% right. When I say ‘right’ I mean something someone has proved to be correct. It’s like with advice, there’s no advice that works for everyone, and that must mean that there is no advice that works for no one. So I’ll share some knowledge, expereince and thoughts..And by the way I don’t like the word advice, and now I’ll stop writing.. ;)